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Crash Bandicoot (game)
Crash Bandicoot is a game for the PlayStation. It was released in 1996 and it was made by Naughty Dog. It involves Crash going through a trio of islands just to fuck his ugly girlfriend. He doesn't save her to rescue her from the evil doctor, but instead, to fuck her. Seriously. Plot Crash is captured along with his bitch. He was evolved on the Evolvo-Ray, but he failed on the Cortex Vortex because the two doctors, Neo Cortex and Nitrus Brio, were lazy assholes and didn't bother fix the machine up. So Crash decided to smash his way out of the place, and for some fucking reason, he landed on N. Sanity Beach. Now he goes on the shittiest adventure in gaming history.So basically that's all what Crash wants. He wants to fuck Tawna's pussy. Characters Crash Bandicoot: The main protagonist of the game and series. He was a smart marsupial back in the 70's and 80's. But in the 90's in 1996, he was evolved. Which made him the dumbest animal on Earth. Tawna Bandicoot: Crash's bitch and the whore of the game. She has huge tits and uses them to attract boys and men. She is one dirty slut. Doctor Neo Cortex: The brainless doctor who loves to fuck animals. He even made an attempt to fuck Crash. No kidding. He is the main antagonist and his boss fight takes place on a blimp. Really? Doctor Nitrus Brio: Another brainless doctor who is even dumber than Dr. Neo Cortex. He is sufferin from low self-esteem and he is addicted to smoking and drinking. In his boss battle, and most of the game, he uses these "potions", which is actually alcohol, He mixes thwm to creates blobs. This is the reason why he has no brain and no mind at all. Get this everybody, A BLOB CANNOT KILL A FUCKING BANDICOOT!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS DR. NITRUS BRIO THINKING???!!!! At the end, he drinks the alcohol and turns into Incredible Hulk. Wow! But he is not strong, even Crash's puny kick in the face can knock him out. Hog: A useless hog that Crash rides in the game. What Crash was really attempting to do was to fuck it. But he failed and the hog ran off. So Crash decided to forget about it and move on. Bosses Papu Papu: A fatass guy that is the president of N. Sanity Island. He is easy because he is so fat. He is the first boss in the game. Ripper Roo: A crazy retarded dog that likes to jump around and step on people. He is very easy and he is useless. Koala Kong: The older brother of King Kong and Donkey Kong. Unlike his brothers, he is not THAT strong. He throws nothing but boulders. That's his only attack. He can't do anything else. Pinstripe Potoroo: The leader of the mafia group. He is basically Rambo with clothes on. Also, his personality is much like Rambo's. He carries a big gun shooting all over the place. He never stops, he does it all day and all night. Anyway, his bullets are useless, they don't even hit Crash. Well they do, but when he is "ducking" behind his couches, they don't hit him. Crash must be half ghost. Doctor Nitrus Brio: (see above in the "characters" section) Doctor Neo Cortex: (see above in the "characters" section) Trivia *Ripper Roo has a younger brother called Rilla Roo, who only appeared in Crash Bash. *Tawna is cheating on Crash. She is secretly dating Pinstripe Potoroo. *Doctor Nitrus Brio is an alcoholic. *Doctor Neo Cortex is a sex lover. Category:Naughty Dog Games Category:Crash Bandicoot Games